The past development of Amelia

Nine months. She was able to feed herself and stand with support


Having fun in the box at 8 monthsAble to feed herself at 9 months

Amelia could sit real straight at 17 mths

Amelia Starting to lose her ability to sit at 2 years

Trying to upload all the past photos on Amelia for a hopeful reason

Decided to update blog...

What I uploaded is how she was before now, 4yrs 5 mths..

Amelia did not recover overnight! No! She didnt!
The updating posts of photos and videos are keepsakes of how active & well developed she was!

The more I update, the more upset & sorrowful I felt!

Think God knows the answer to all the happenings to Amelia!

There goes our Japan trip

Initially we supposed to go tokyo for a short break and the tragedy happened 3 days before our take off on 15 March 2011.



Really thank God that it didnt happen when we were there.

God is watching and He really does!

Amelia at 13mths

11 March 2011

What a tragedy day to mark and remember!

Japan the day of tsunami and earth quake...

Torn down, swept out many homes and many hearts and many lives!

God, help them !

My girls are growing fast

You really can't imagine that time really running fast and the clock is going tick tock tick tock.

Amanda is 8 this year and Amelia will be 5 this year..

Both growing tall and big... should take their weight and height the next time I would go to the hospital.

Havent taken a photo for a long long time of the two girls in bed..

Think we have to appreciate their presence and their attachment before Amanda grows up and not need me anymore.

My new year of 2011

Hello 2011!!!!

Welcome to the new year!
Glory to God for this new year!

Since this is a new year and I have been missing the entire year in 2010..

I have decided to make a comeback and record my family memories once again.
I really do not know if I can ever keep a record if blogger decided to fail on us one day!

I thought of starting a new blogspot for each of the girls... but there will be much more work to keep 3 blog address than just one right??

Sometimes think big and at the end, fail to even keep to one!!

Boring blog site... guess nobody will read it except myself!

I will try to update it daily.. I would! I would!

Photos from Christmas & New year eve party

New Year Eve at Pat's home

Christmas Eve Party at my home

My cute Hubby??

Sad sad sad! So busy meh? Why isnt any kind souls bother to take photos for our family?

Move on~ Move on!

Woke up morning and prepared lunch for the family in a Sunday morning.

Had been missing church for almost 2 weeks.

The devil been bugging me to give up going church cos I have been quarreling and having cold shoulders with my mum since the I was really upset with my mum and I have been a terrible testimony at home and I really felt lousy.

Nam asked Amanda to check me out if I still want to go church.

I rejected his offer to drive us cos deep within I dont feel like going.

Less than ten mins later, I decided to go.

God has a reason for days that seem so down and out!

Got a new maid on 13 September!

Keep my fingers crossed!

So called nursing graduate!

Sigh! Didnt make it!

No point blogging about my maids!

Just felt sad what happened to Su, my previous maid and I sighed badly that I wont be able to find anyone that I could entrust Amelia anymore...

Went ahead to make the decision to change a 2nd one for this year...

Pray steadfastly that this one would be a better one.

Helper not returning home!!

Recived a sms from my helper from Indonesia that she cant return cos her family and hubby dont allow.

That was it!

At first I thoought that my family and routine and everything else will be in a total mess and loss!


Think this is truly, madly what it comes to my mind~!!

First thing, I ask God; Did you allow this to happen???

Maid decides not to return!

Got a sms from my helper that her family and new;y wed husband that they dont allow her to return for work in Singapore.

Utter rubbish! My sms to her was terribly harsh and wanted her to give a verbal explanation. We were in Genting without any help. We really din expect that we are able to make it through.

First thing it comes to my mind: God why did you allow it to happen???



This was it!!
This was truly, madly and deeply what I was thinking about!!

Survived One week wo maid. Whew!

This is right boy!
I'm ok, Im alright. Wendy wendy fight fight fight.
Sounds beri chinah but this is right!
I have set my routine since 23rd July and I have pulled through one week and I still find time to blog at this time.

Really tired! But happy that at least I felt that Im closer with the kids really hands on. Need to go catch some time off to cut my hair and little time on my own. It is a matter of balancing, I tink!




There's always rainbow after the rain.

Really tired. Got to catch some time to read a magazine and prayers.

My maid left for home leave

Alas! God has been really good to me.

I have managed to keep my maid for two whole years and she wants to return to get married. I kept my fingers crossed til the day she returns after one month after her home leave. I just pray that if this is God's will that she will return then let it be that man!

But I shall survive and I know that I can survive this ordeal with God's strength. I will survive, I will survive. THIS my Life! Sigh!

We sent her to the airport at 9plus am. Didnt expect Amanda to be so whimply about this and she whine badly. We promised a Mcdonald breakfast and a ice cream cone for trade off, and she stopped after we left the airport. Kids are kids. Hahaha.

Indeed she forgot all about Su after we left the airport and up the plane. There she and her dramatic acts. This is my daughter, Amanda.

I reached home with the girls and my head is a little heavy thinking how I should get started. Life still have to get going. I knew that the real stuff will only start on friday. I dunno how I am going to coop with housework, Amanda studies, Amelia ABR home therapy programme.

I flare up at the first hour and I was screaming my head off. Cooling myself down with a prayer and trying to cheer myself up that i can do a better job than my maid and God made me the head not the tail and I am a winner in Christ. I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me. Sounds so spiritual right. enough of crap lah.

Amelia's Home therapy Journey starts on my birthday

This is posted as a back log. Think this is really something hard to explain and understand for this short and strange term to understand.

Im just a mother whom always pray and hope for a brighter tomorrow. Many times I fear, I fear what holds tomorrow and what is the future so bright for my precious Amelia.

I can even tear in my heart when I go for yoga classes at AMORE. How? How can one day or ever one day Amelia will be able to perform yoga positions that I'm able to and for everyone of us whom always take for granted for anything easy and will be.

I'm going ahead with the ABR therapy and 16 March 2009. First day that Im going to take the workshop with ful of questions and no annswers up in my mind.



http://www.blyum.com/inventor

I just pray that God will use me to help Amelia get better and more functional each day.

I may not have the answers to tomorrow but I know HE HAS!

Check Amelia out in School

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Outbreak of tears

Today is a long day for me. Woke up early and pulled Amanda out of bed. She was thrilled when she heard that we are going out to meet her good friend, Rachel. Nam drove us there to Jurong Point Mcdonald.

It wasn't a good day today and Amanda. She slept terribly late at 12midnite and she was grumpy since morning. She picked up a roar with Rachel and I have to threatened to leave McDonald the moment I sat down.I heard that she was quarreling over the slightest thing and also fought over sticks of straw she took.

Series of incidents that made me really angry. Her stubborness and the way she talked back is something that I can never tolerated. Parenthood is really tough and being a "stayed home mum" is worse bcos it really breaks my heart seeing the way she behave. I really prayed that God will mold her. The moment she stepped home, she started to bargain and grumbled and dont want to shower. It pissed me further. I stormed to the kitchen and grabbed my cane. Instantly when she saw me opened the door with the cane, she tried to snatched my cane. It makes my blood boils even hotter! She whined so hard and plead for me not to cane her. Without much consideration, I whipped her. After all the hoo-ha, she was too embarassed to walk out of her bedroom bcos her friend was in our home. I was disappointed that after the whipping, she didnt get my point why I caned her. I really lack the consistency in my disciplinary. Alas!

At night I put Amelia to sleep. She was moving about on her pillow bcos she was so used sleeping on her sides. I lifted her up from her pillow and wanted to place her on her tummy. I almost choke her using my hands to adjust her head to face the pillow. I cried! I plead her not to do that! Her head seems so heavy even for my hands to hold her chin to adjust her head! I ask God! Why God! Why God takes all her learned ability away??? Why God allow it to happen?? God are you really there?? Why God?? Why?? I'm too broken for words. The pain pierced like a knife right through my heart! Many times when I see children bound with special needs and sickness. I felt really, really heartache. I knew that parents with normal kids will never feel the same. Some things are just not meant to be. Maybe this marriage is not meant to be, maybe the kids are not meant to be mine??? Why Wen?? Why are you allowing all the battling of negative thoughts to dwell in your mind?? Frankly I havent been feeling so, so, so, so heartached for Amelia's issue for a long long time.

If God hasnt been watching me and Amelia and the family. Perhaps things would have been worst but why God chooses Amelia to go through all this sufferings.

She was able to turn, now not anymore.

She was able to lift her head when she was barely 4 weeks, now not anymore.

She was able to coo coo now not anymore.

She was able to laugh loudly and now not anymore.

She was able to lie on her tummy and lift her head up, now not anymore.

She was able to sit up and now not anymore.

She was able to crawl and now not anymore.

She was able to call JieJie and Papa and now not anymore.

She was able to support to stand and now not anymore.

I knew that she was frustrated and she is more upset than anyone! Nobody knew why it happened.

The last test that was closest to her symptons- Retts sydrome! I thank God that it is not Retts sydrome. But what can her condition be?? I am scared, really, really scared that she will lose her basic abilities. People might ask why do you still want go through all the tests when you believe in God restoring her. But Im really scared... She only knew the basic functions as a person that is breathe, eating her blended food and sleep. And I knew that thest basic functions she also find difficulty. Why God??? Why???

Dear God,

I knew that those thoughts are not meant to be. My flesh is weak and the evil one is strong. God guard my heart and my thoughts. God helped me to pull through my times of weakness and advsersity. I reject every negative thoughts and self-pity in the name of Jesus! God I pray that U sanctify my heart and my mind. Teach me to walk in the light of U and every breathe that I take. Restore Amelia! This is my greatest prayer and cry always. God I pray that you make Amelia cheerful and happy!

In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

Genting twice this year!

Went wif the boys, mum, sil and my family from 12 Dec- 14 Dec

will upload photos soon.