Brought Amanda down as usual to take her school bus. As we are still early, decided to bring Amelia down too. She was sitting in the stroller and I have to sing them nursery songs and pushed Amelia round and round. The typical Chinese song, " FInding a friend song".
Back in my mind Im tinking wat will happen if Amelia still stay not walking and Amanda is not happy or thrilled with this type of playing anymore??? Holding my tears deep within me! Negative thoughts been hounding me day in day out! What if Amanda grows older and realised that it is not fun having a sister siting all day and not chasing her?
After Amanda got up the bus, I pushed Amelia to the playground.
To any normal active kid, a playground is someplace fun! There is never one normal growing kid that dun like playing. I never think about the meaning of having a playground until whenever I bring Amelia to the playground.
I always hoped that there aint anybody around. It is not that I dont want Amelia to have some kids to socialise. The issue is that people tend to wonder and the look in their eyes make me slightly upset. Some even asked about how old is she and lots more. I think it is really getting more challenged as she gets older.
I carried her her. Slide her down and kept teaching her about colors. Her look really stared blankly into my eyes. Im really depressed. There wasnt any trace of excitement.
I held her closer to the stairs nearing the slide. She used to be able to lift her feet up the stairs with my hand supporting her arms. Now not anymore. It really teaches me one thing in life, we must never take anything for granted.
This playground can never be a play until Amelia can understand that she needs play in her life. I never felt so lousy going to a playground. I can never give up! If I cant be bothered with her, who else would! I felt really really sad! I pray that she can find Play as a joy and as a God sent "Job" for any developing child!
